Last night was hard , I was at work then at home time it took a lot of strength not to go to the shop on the way home . But I ignored the voices in my head , that was saying a bottle of wine won’t hurt , you deserve it , it’s been a long day why not .
When I got home i felt pleased with myself that i had not given in to temptation. I will take that as a win !
Still of course feel very unsure how to spend my time . I don’t have many hobbies or interest other than the love of reading but at the moment even that’s not holding my attention without a glass of wine in the hand .
I cant even seem to sit and watch a movie without feeling uncomfortable . so most of the time I clean or potter around the house trying to waste time until it’s late enough to go to bed , if I am not working .
even once i am in bed it takes me a long time to fall asleep without the wine in my system . That’s one thing i have never been very good at falling asleep without alcohol . even when i am really tired i find it very hard to drift off to sleep .
Having said that even after just a few nights without the wine i am waking up feeling a lot better in the mornings which is amazing not to wake up with a headache or feeling like i could sleep for another full night .
I am ending this post more up beat than the last.
A diary for me 